Emotionally Focused Therapy
SECURING STRONG BONDS FOR A LIFETIME
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured approach to therapy that was born out of attachment and bonding science. This research shaped the model of EFT and informs the EFT therapist as he/she serves as a process consultant for clients, seeking to repair their relationships and form stronger bonds with one another. EFT can be used to treat couples, individuals, and families. EFT is an evidence-based practice that consistently yields effective results for all kinds of couples worldwide, regardless of the presenting issues. These distressed couples being helped by EFT include partners impacted by attachment injuries, depression, anxiety, past trauma (PTSD), and chronic illness.
Research shows that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements, after having received EFT. In some cases, such as ongoing abuse in the relationship, EFT may not be appropriate as safety is a necessary component for effective EFT.
In therapy, my goal is to help you restructure the bond with your partner so that you can enjoy a more secure connection with one another. EFT is a structured approach that seeks to help you and your partner 1. de-escalate and 2. restructure your bond, leading to a more secure connection and greater intimacy. It is essential that you both come to couples’ sessions, to achieve this goal. Should one of you not be able to keep an appointment, the couple session will need to be rescheduled. In EFT, your relationship is the main client and my highest priority will be to focus on strengthening the bond between the two of you. If individual issues arise which must be handled first, such as chemical dependency, emotional or physical abuse, or an on-going affair, I may recommend delaying couple sessions until these issues are resolved. Confidentiality policies also change in couples counseling; please know, I cannot keep secrets as this hampers my ability to form trust with both of you and help you form a more secure connection. If you ask me to hold a secret, I will remind you of this and help you talk to your partner in a sensitive manner.
Sometimes relationships are not repaired, despite participating in couples counseling. In cases such as this, I will not pressure you into any decision, but rather support you both and help you transition. Only you and your partner can make the decision to separate or divorce. If one or both partners want individual counseling after making this decision, I will help you and your partner find another therapist.
Structure: EFT work with couples typically requires 15-35 sessions to progress through the three stages of EFT. If past trauma or attachment injuries are present, the process could take longer. Typically, our first session will be together (both partners), followed by an individual session with each of you. Subsequent sessions will be together. Weekly sessions are recommended.
If you’re interested in learning more about EFT, I recommend the book HOLD ME TIGHT by Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of EFT.
